I promise I am not going to dwell of the fact I have a kid every blog. That being said, every parent believes their child is brilliant. Mine of course actually is. He's a genius for the most part. I'm amazed at his problem solving capabilities and the way he manipulates a situation to his advantage. Everytime I think he couldn't get any smarter........I catch him chewing on the couch. Other than that he's perfect.
I don't believe in karma, I believe in douchebagonomics. You see karma doesn't explain why good people have bad things happen to them. It is for this reason I simply cannot buy in. Douchebagonomics on the other hand makes sense! It's the belief that bad things happen but some people have it coming. Like if you yell at your waiter/waitress because your food is not cooked to perfection, they will spit or much worse on your perfectly cooked food. You see, first off, the waiter/waitress did not cook your food, plus there is a way to talk to people. If you intentionally park taking up two or more spaces some one will key your car. If you bring a girl over to a friend's house and she leaves a used tampon in the basement, and you don't come get it in the designated timeframe, that same friend will come over and decorate your car with tampons dipped in hot sauce until you come get it. The last one I actually had to do, but that is a whole different story. You get the point, right?
I find that it is impossible to listen to Billy Idol with out doing his signature lip curl. I have no idea why every time I hear White Wedding or Rebel Yell I have to sing it in the same style Billy does. Trust when I say, in this case, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery, maybe the sincerest form of battery. I then realized the lip curl I'm stealing from Billy is actually the lip curl he stole from Elvis. Then I thought well Elvis stole black people's music so he probably had it coming. Trust me, that's not racist I asked my friend Antoine and he said "That's not racist, it true. Elvis stole from Chuck Berry." So not only is that funny, but historically accurate. Holla back.
In my house the toilet seat is a bone of contention. I feel that if I was nice enough to lift it, it shouldn't be an issue for you to put it down. Jen believes she should ignore me every time I say that. Honestly I could just aim through the seat and trust my aim. I think it's valid as an argument! One day Caden will be using that bathroom and I'm sure his aim will be lacking. Maybe I'm a visionary. Yeah, that probably it!
That's it for today. If you loved it, let me know or tell a friend. Yes, I'm pandering for viewers! If you hated it, keep it to yourself. You're opinion doesn't matter!
