Parenthood and the Olympics

Long time no speak! So what's new........ Oh yeah, I'm a parent. That's a small change of pace. What have I learned you ask? You get two reactions when you announce that you are expecting. You get the over optimistic "Oh you'll be the best parents ever. You'll love it, it's all cotton candy and hugs!" or you get the extreme pessimists "You have no idea what you are getting into. You'll never sleep again!". The truth is it's somewhere in the middle.What is it like? The first great revelation happened at the hospital when I realized not only were they going to let me take this baby home, they where going to make me take it home. That's right they were going to make me take this person I just met, and doesn't speak English, home. We spent the whole first week making sure he was breathing because we were pretty sure he was just going to stop. That's the crazy thing as a parent, you fear the irrational! Like the other day. I had to pee but Caden would not let me set him down without screaming. I thought maybe I can hold him and pee. A thought then crossed my mind "what if I drop him in the toilet?". I mean a cell phone is bad enough, but it's not like I can tell Jen "It's ok, we got the insurance on him.".The only time it is acceptable for your baby to end up in the toilet is if you are on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. So here is where I chose to violently derail. I'm watching the Olympics and I realize that I, like most people, know nothing about gymnastics. It's all chaos. The only thing I know, which I feel makes me an expert and fully capable of judging this sport, is if they stick the landing! That's right, the landing. We all know that! I can't tell the amount of twist or flips  or other gymnastics related words, but I can tell you about the landing. Diving is similar in principal with splash being the deciding factor. A pike, to me, is a fish with teeth. I do know what a cannon ball is but I'm pretty sure it goes against the whole splash factor. Here's my pretty bow. Parenting is like gymnastics to me. We have no clue what we are doing most of the time. It can all be confusing and chaos! Just remember this; we are not judged on anything during the routine, we just have to stick the landing (with little splash since I brought up driving). It's the Parenting Olympics or the Parolympics. And no I'm not proud :)!