Holy High-Maintenance Batman

I guess I should tell you this story actually took place a week or so ago, I just have not had time to tell it yet. To start out I should tell you Jen and I are in a small group with several couples from our church. We meet twice a month and watch a different video series, some pertaining to marriage others just study different facets of Christianity. Right now we are doing a video series called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage. I would highly recommend this series to every person on the planet. It doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are or if you are even married. And I know what your thinking and no it not preachy, or a men are wrong or women are wrong kinda thing. It just goes through the differences between men and women and the problems we have relating. The answer is not that we need to change, but simply understand the other. Enough of my soapbox back to the story. So we are discussing after our segment for that night how some of the times role are reversed. For example some friends of ours are flip flopped in certain ways. He is extremely clean and she is extremely cluttered. I got to thinking how Jen and I might be reversed in certain ways. In my time of contemplating I found nothing. I am incapable of multitasking, she is incapable of single tasking. I react to situations with with pure logic, she reacts with logic and emotion. I can turn my brain off, she can not. Then it hits me! First let me reiterate my philosophy that there is no such thing as reinventing one's self. You can have revelations about yourself, but reinventing is crap (I won't go into this if you want to know my stance read the first blog The Reality of Fiction). I find I often have revelations about me, but any way. I get to thinking I have a waaaaay more clothes than Jen. I have a much newer car than Jen. I have two gaming systems. I have every accessory to go with those systems. When in doubt I will always pick the more expensive of any item. I have to have whey protein for lifting. I have to have expensive shoes for any sport I choose to play. My workout outfits have to match (I won't wear Nike shorts with an Adidas shirts). Almost every polo style shirt I own is Ralph Lauren (22 was the last count), and every pair of jeans I own is. I have every techy gadget know to man. I smoke expensive cigars. I looked at Jen and said " Oh my God, I'm a high-maintenance hoe". She looked at me and said lovingly " Yeah, you kinda are".

I strongly suggest you take 10 minutes and watch thisclip and tell me what you think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM

Mortality Combat

I woke up the other morning and I was faced with the one thing every man dreads. And no it's probably not what you're thinking. I don't know what you are thinking, but I'm pretty sure it's not it! Most men will understand this and most women will need to at some point. Yes I am going some where with this, be patient. I woke up and was faced with my own mortality. All women at this point believe I'm speaking of death, I'm not. I'll go out on a limb and say most men are more afraid of losing their youth than actually dying. When we watch Superman, Batman, Star Wars, etc, we don't see the fiction, we see the reality. There is not a man out there that at some point did not believe he could leap tall buildings or fly( I'm sure some even tried) or yield a light saber and defeat Darth Vader. You see every man believes he is James Dalton or Wade Garrett from Road House. It's part of our nature! I'm 32 and I still believe that if I lose 20 or so pounds I'll be able to dunk a volley ball (I say volley ball because I have small hands and can't palm a basketball). I have not accomplished this feat since I was 18. Now science tell us at 19 we start to lose some of our spring and I have a left ankle (my jumping ankle) that is a few ligaments short of a picnic, but deep in my heart I still believe. You can't convince me I couldn't still run a sub 16 min three mile. I'd most likely pass out after the second mile and even then be no where near that pace. You can call me delusional! I call me a man. I'm really look at celebs today. You couldn't convince Steven Tyler he's too old to wear stretch pants. You can't convince the great Michael Jordan, at the age of 46, that he couldn't still be the best in the NBA. And I know for a fact that you can't convince me that with a little practice I couldn't be the greatest guitar player ever. The truth is every man is Roy McAvoy from Tin Cup. We'd keep dropping it because we can make it over that water. In fact even that was real. It's based on Gary McCord who needed a birdie to win the Champions Tour. The only thing that stood between him and that birdie was a water hazard. He took his first shoot and splash into the water. So he did it again..... and again...... and again until he finished the hole with a 15. Any way I play basketball on Thursdays. I hadn't played in a while and when I woke up the next morning I felt like someone had kicked the crap out of me. I guess rightfully so I had the bruises to prove that, but I guess I'm not getting any younger. Don't get the wrong impression I still think all 5 foot 8 inches of me is 7 foot and bullet proof. I guess the point is to all the women out there if you see your man getting older and he can do the things he once did but tries, don't get frustrated he doesn't know better!

My Revelation

First off let me just note my title is in honor of the fact Scrubs has returned to me. This also sorta illustrates the point I'm trying to make this week. You see today is my 32 birthday. Not that that is a big deal (once you get past 30 it's just a number), but I believe most of us step back and look at our lives on birthdays. What I learned scares me! let me state as I have before that I have a healthy opinion of myself. I'm not arrogant or narcissistic, but I am pretty confident. I've always considered myself to be a guys guy. I like football and beer. I enjoy explosions (but who doesn't). I lift weights and play basketball. I could always go for a good cigar or a comedy (as long as romantic is not associated with the comedy part). I wouldn't trade my Mustang Gt for anything because I get a warm fuzzy feeling when it gets squirrely on the ice (maybe that's just stupid). Oh yeah I was making a point! So any way I'm getting all Manped (m-amped if you need a pronunciation) about myself, when certain thoughts start rolling in. I am a huge Star Wars fan. In fact when I'm sick that's all I want to watch. While we're on the topic of sick, I always revert to like 2 years old. I won't even as for the movies by their full names. I mutter, in a almost dead voice, "Wanna watch Jedi" or "Empire" (I got no love for A New Hope while sick) and Jen has to put them in the DVD player for me. I guess that's not real manly. Oh and don't get me started on video games. I could sit for hours in my gaming chair and kill things or play Madden (that's not bad though). I have all the Wii-cessories (steering wheels, tennis rackets, wireless nunchucks) and all the bluetooth gadgets for the PS3 (like the headset so I can talk to the people I'm playing with online). Um scratch that last thing! I no longer want to admit that! Oh and for those of you that read my first post The Reality of Fiction, the whole rock star-Guitar Hero thing, well all of you will be so excited to know we got World Tour and I got a mic stand so I can now sing and play my plastic guitar at the same time. Ok not as cool as it sounded in my head. Then I realize I've listened to Coheed and Cambria for a month now. I've been trying to figure out the whole storyline. I've even read the comic books to figure it out................................................................................
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............................................................................. I'm a nerd!